Given my low ability to readily consume and retain general news information, I hardly give newspapers a thorough read or pay much attention to television broadcasts. And so came this exact day I decided to give a read did I find a curious large photo of my friend Chrissie pasted on the front page of The Sunday Times.
Making to the front page has to be something big. And in this case, the least desired reason ever - Along with her husband Chris (who I knew as well), and their unborn child, perished in a car crash.
So the first hand experience with the expression of disbelief "WHAT THE.....?!?" is finally fully understood. I didn't even get this deep with the times I crashed my bike. Being tuned and disciplined to react to situations in a calm, logical manner, these outright feelings of confusion, grief, frustration, sorrow sent my mind into an unfamiliar (and unpleasant indeed) turmoil that just sucked the zest and energy to do whatever I planned to do for today.
I completely know what I struggle with is minor with what their families must go through. (And I pray God give them the strength necessary to push through these moments and live on with mightier hearts.) But in vain attempt to cope with these alien scenario, I just get reminded more strongly of my past ties with Chrissie and Chris. Yes, I have skated with them. So at least one part of the article is highly accurate. And this is perhaps what gets me - it is not so much the fact of death but the rememberance of our relationships, the things we've done together - and they cannot be repeated anymore.
At least, so I keep telling myself, in this world.
For this incident brings right out to my face an issue of life I have been procrastinating to write about previously:
Everybody has a marker.
Call me a fatalist if you want. I believe nobody has the capability to run away from God once the marker has been crossed. B it plane, tank, in the bed, the Unsinkable Titanic, motorcycle, scooterboard, space shuttle, the impregnable Death Star, underground bunker, skyscraper Twin Towers, beach hut, whatever. No matter what location and what activity you're in. Don't get me wrong - I don't mean to say God made us robots, programmed to follow a sequence of events completely controlled by Him. We're made with His reflection and thus have the same free will to conduct our own course of actions. But when your time is up, it's up. And nobody is too young die.
This is the basis of my argument to anybody who questions, in phobic tones, of my insanity to ride a motorbike. You really don't have to fear for your life that much, that often. People may not take huge note of these, but I have read simply too many cases of the supposedly safest activities resulting in fatal disasters. You know, like strolling on the side walk, or attending a wedding. To all those who ignorantly advise me drive a car instead, simply because it is "safer", this is my question to you
What makes you think you can survive your drive back home later? How are you so sure you will get to reach your bed tonight?
Do not think for a single moment your safety is guaranteed by your actions. You think are doing something to make yourself so safe, that is when you have boarded the Titanic like those arrogant fools who believed even God Himself cannot sink. Recognise that we are at the mercy of the Lord.
I seriously do not know whether it is "fair" to have Chrissie's and Chris' lives "completed" prematurely. Add the fact their child didn't even get to begin one. I honestly have also figured my own life will be a short one (due to health reasons) and I have long been expecting myself to expire ahead of my friends. But time and again it's been clear this decision is not for me to make. Unless such situation whereby I am put in decisive position to sacrifice myself to save another, i don't know...
For I am not God; not omniscient. And therefore do not have the "analytical statistics and reports" on my desk to make an informed and calculated decision. I can only trust God has concluded they have done enough , and shall be freed of the worries of this wretched world. The rest of us, however, must continue to uphold the responsibilities given to us and live on righteously. Even with times when I had bad crashes with my bike, presenting perfect opportunities for nearby vehicles to run me over, I still stand up and walk away. It is not time yet.
In my Father's house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am. You know the way to the place where I am going.
Here's voting to Lord Jesus for a rad skate park as well.
Chrissie and Chris, I will see you later once Jesus drives His fancy van to pick me up.