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Review: Star Wars 3: Revenge of the Sith

Last post 05-20-2005, 14:11 by icelava. 0 replies.
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  •  05-20-2005, 14:11 1025

    Review: Star Wars 3: Revenge of the Sith

    Forgive if you would consider the following big spoiler revelations. But my point of view is there needs to be a story for spoilers to even exist.

    One word my friend used to sum up the whole experience: contrived.

    Boy, contrived it is, do I agree wholeheartedly. So here we are, finally witnessing the "connector" between the new and old Star Wars timelines, and well aware of the great number of outstanding events that have to occur in this screening or Mr G. Lucas faces the sentence to the electrical chair. Like a bad IT project with a fixed feature list and fixed schedule (2.5 hours) to deliver, it wastes no time to tell you it is indeed running out of time.

    Right from the very first Act, everything spurts, not run, to present with the minimum of details. Scenes done and dealt with are quickly discarded and forgotten in hasty fashion, furnished with flat acting, flat emotions, flat relationships, flat events. Yes, the events really are so flat, occurring with such ease and convenience, with a tangible deliberance that they were factored in just so that Lucasfilm finally has videographic evidence to prove in court that all those events that were mentioned in chronicles of later episodes did in fact, happen.

    Anakin Skywalker submits his legal name change application so fast, thanks in major part to an equally fast persuasion by Darth Sidious that will make insurance agents seek him for mentorship, that you wonder if Count Dooku should have been striked off the candidate list and skipped right to Darth Vader in Episode 2. Once you have caught your breath, the newly crowned cloaked Emperor demonstrates his disaster recovery foresight by taking out of the closet suits pre-designed by Coruscant Tailors for damaged disciples. All covered by the Dark Side employee benefits.

    Of course, we all knew this was going to happen since 1999 (or more than twenty years ago). And we don't care because we're in it for the action. Then yes, be entertained. This episode has battles and sabre fights like nobody's business, as though Industrial Light and Magic waived the rendering fees. The worlds and ships all meticulously modelled with stunning detail, and exploding in glorious beauty, you'd think it was ok to kill.

    To that it is needless to state that George Lucas is not a good storyteller. What he has in capacities of oceans is a rich imagination for an incredibly vast universe of life. It then should be no problem for developers to understand that this release (and any other Star Wars episode for the matter) is like a web site completely, and brilliantly, done in Flash. And not a portal or web application.

    Movie rating: 4/10
    Yes Blows visually; when will computer hardware render such quality for games?
    No Completely flat.
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